When you really sit down to think about it, Aristotle and Plato weren't so much arguing about the nature of the universe so much as which of their two proposed gag t-shirt ideas had the most merit.

While Socrates enjoyed shirts that said:

"The fact that you are understanding this seems to suggest that absolutes exist separately from matter, therefore this shirt should probably say something funny."

Aristotle preferred the more material:

"We're all apes living on a meaningless speck of dust, so any joke placed here must work mechanically inside the confines of observable reality."

While we may never know which shirt is the most appropriate, we can all agree that it was okay for Socrates and Aristotle to have sex with young boys in their era, given that women of marrying age were probably very unattractive due to environmental stress. I mean, there was literally no one else to have sex with.

That has to count for something.

Moving on, we at Shirt Genius are pleased to continue this grand tradition of intellect and debate by presenting you with a sophisticated alternative to your typical gag t-shirts. And for those customers of less discerning palate, we also sell several shirts designed by IamRob.

IamRob:  The certifiable lunatic behind Shirt Genius. His shirt ideas come from massive amounts of Ambien, childhood abandonment issues, and slight paranoia. One time, while on an Ambien trip, he thought the ice cubes in his iced tea were his teeth. Everyone laughed at him. He didn’t find that funny.

ShawShaw:  The head of the art department who spends her time drawing kids with Downs Syndrome drawing kids with Downs Syndrome. A genius and lady of the highest caliber, for whom no compliment rendered can do justice. There’s speculation that her vagina is the only remaining portal to Narnia, which would explain what happened to her husband's penis.

Nikki:  The cutest girl with a lazy eye and lisp you’ve ever seen. When she’s not busy having large mammaries, she is designing the website and drawing pictures of things that will make your mother cry like a gay couple who had their marriage taken away.  Oh, and she is a Christian and believes that even though she works here, she’ll still go to heaven.  A-dorable.

Bozz:  What’s that saying? Behind every man there is a woman dressed as a man? Bozz handles all sales, accounting, and relations throughout Shirt Genius. He is also the best pizza orderer on this here side of the Mississippi. When he’s not doing Shirt Genius' bitch work, he’s listening to Tori Amos and playing with his Star Wars figurines.

Ask him how often he masturbates. He's Catholic and he loves that question.

POLICIES 1. Shipping: All shirts at this time are print to order. Because of this, it's more difficult to get custom made shirts shipped out in 1-2 days simply because of the varieties and colors of shirts we'd have to keep in stock. We do all our printing on the Thursday of every week, and they will be sent out the following Friday. 2. Shirts: All shirts are 100% pre-shrunk cotton, specifically Gildan 2,000'shirts. Currently this is the only type of shirt we sell, and it's because we can get them in literally any color you want as we work directly with the dye company.

The color selections displayed on all of our shirt pages are samples of what the art department felt was the best colors per design. If you have a specific color you want for a shirt, contact us with your name and order number, and we can change the color for you. If you are dissatisfied with the results of a color change you specifically requested, Shirt Genius takes no responsibility for your order.

All shirts are produced at the highest quality of digital printing. We use no heat transfers. With digital printing you get all the colors and detail you get with silk-screening, and they're just as bright as the designs on screen, including white on black. This is because each design is coated with a white primer to produce optimal colors. It will last longer than any shirt made using silk-screening for those of you who like to do things like wash their clothes. 3. Refunds: If there is something wrong with your order, please mail it back to us and you may get a full refund or the correct order. Please note: Shirt Genius will only reimburse you for shipping costs if the problem was on our end. If you're unhappy with your shirt simply because you've changed your mind, send it back or exchange it... but we regret to inform you that you're still going to pay shipping.